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| Brougham suddenly stirred awake in his second favourite chair and realized he had taken a nap in the middle of reading about Mr. Hiddlesworth's fantastic bathing machines in Brighton on the second page of the newspaper. His joints ached. How long could he have slept? To his surprise the newspaper was still upright and he could neither see his friend, who sat reading his own newspaper in his favourite chair, nor anything else since his view was completely obscured by the printed page. "Stuff!" he said, stretching his legs. "Machines, indeed."
Darcy was reading a part of the same newspaper, but the article referred to house innovations. His eyes quickly scanned the history of the types of toilets and stopped on the Joseph Bramah's valve type flush one, which Darcy had had installed both in Pemberley and Erewile. But now it seemed that an Albert Giblin was working on an improvement called the "Silent Valveless Water Waste Preventer." Well, maybe it would be a good idea to have it installed in Erewile he thought. "Mmm... yes, machines and water do fit it seems," he responded. Brougham looked over at him. "Generally speaking, of course, they do. Mills, steam, and so on. But in this instance I gather they are referring to sea water and that makes no sense." "Sea water? Indeed, no sense at all. Can they not take it from the Thames?" "I should think not! I have never heard of any fashionable lady who would take to anything but Brighton waves!" "Brighton?" Darcy questioned. "I do not think even the ladies of fashion are as capricious as to think of Brighton as the only means of water service." "Well, as far as I understand it - and mind I think it is total nonsense, too - capriciousness does not enter into it, but it is thought to be very beneficial for one's health and is quite the fashion, so Brighton it must be. One would think it is all the same since water flows freely around our isle." "Do you think they can really tell the difference? I bet it is always just the closest water and the ladies of fashion do not even notice that." |
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| "Well, she would not have to go there personally, but still you are right. It is good then that there are not real ladies of fashion in my life."
"There are plenty of women of fashion in your life. You simply choose to ignore them." "That is why I say they are non-existent. Well, at least they are of little consequence to me." "Mmmm. If you insist. And you always do." Finally he set down the newspaper and looked at Darcy with a deep frown. "I have never heard a more absurd idea, Darcy. There is no way one can put sea bathing machines in the Thames!" "What are you talking about, Brougham? Why would anyone be putting sea bathing machines in the Thames?" "They are not. They only go in at Brighton. I told you so!" The two gentlemen stared at each other for a moment. Then Brougham raised his newspaper before his face again. "Humpf!" he uttered. Darcy looked at his friend and finally burst out with laughter. "Sea bathing machines? Why, I am relieved then that even ladies of fashion can be satisfied with less when it comes to their toilets with a flushing system." "Yes, sea bathing machines. I think you must have let your mind wander something terrible, Darcy. I never said anything about flushing systems. What kind of topic just before tea is that anyway?" He threw his paper on the floor. "Lord, I am bored. Let us go down to Rosefarm! I am sure they have excellent tea there, also, and I need to get out of the house." |
| "That just shows how much you know of fashionable women and their obsession with being of the first cut!" Brougham laughed.
"Brougham, I know of them as much as I ever wished. I am sure, however, that Lady Catherine does not use the Brighton water." "Lady Catherine? Your Aunt? I should hope not! Good Lord, what is the world coming to! I should have thought Lady Catherine would not be caught dead anywhere near Brighton!" |
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