Scotch and Sirens - Lizzy and Darcy - Scotch and Sirens

Darcy had not slept very well that night, but after pondering some very confusing thoughts about the evening he decided that it would be better to get some rest and wait for his meeting with Elizabeth. At least he had hoped she would still come. He woke up earlier than usual and had only coffee before his departure. When he came to their meeting place he tied Elizabeth’s horse to a tree and went for a short ride. He spurred his horse into a gallop and rode till the speed won over his emotions.

When he returned to the appointed spot he saw Elizabeth coming his way. He dismounted from his horse and bowed in greeting. “Miss Bennet, I hope you are well.”

“Mr. Darcy, I am well. How do you find yourself this morning? I see you survived all of last night's activities. Especially that last dance where I stepped on your toes?” she teased him playfully, intending to savour each last moment.

“I take it you are much better then and your good humour is regained.”

He led her to her horse and helped her to mount it. He then joined her on his own and they started to ride slowly.

It was now or never, she thought. If she put it off, she would never find the strength. She glanced at him and then looked ahead along their path and began her most difficult task.

“I am afraid I jested for your benefit, Mr. Darcy, and to bring the subject around to last evening. I am afraid I am not recovered, and I am still of the same mind. I only came this morning to tell you this.”

“To tell me what?”

Darcy was confused even further. Surely she could not have meant…

“Miss Bennet, do you want to tell me that you do not wish to see me again?”

She must do it... but she could not look at him while she did.

“Mr. Darcy, it is more that you should not wish to see me again. My mere presence in your life has certainly caused you enough grief already. I am sorry to cause more pain, but I must say this now. I know that Miss Lucy's words wounded you last night. You would be better rid of my company. You do not need a friendship such as mine in your life.”

“I see.”

Darcy fell silent and they were now riding without saying a word.

She did not know what she had expected, but this was certainly not it. She rode on in silence beside him. Wondering if this would be all he would say on the subject. She tried to steal a look at his face, but could see nothing there that could be read with the quick glimpse she had gotten of it.

“Miss Bennet, may I ask you a question?”

Darcy hesitated, wondering if he should even ask it, for though he had worked hard on improving his manners, his pride was still that of a Darcy.

“Miss Lucy said yesterday that you described me as a man desperately looking for a wife. Is that what you think of me? That even after such an obvious rejection I would still impose myself upon you - against your own will? Do you think my offer of friendship is just an insincere act calculated to deceive you?”

She was confused. She was trying to do something for him by ending their connection – to keep him safe from the harm her presence continued to cause him. He did not seem to understand her at all. It seemed that every attempt she made to right things only dug her a larger hole in which to bury herself.

“Mr. Darcy, I assure you I said that to Lucy only because of what I knew about her character. I knew her to be husband hunting herself. She was asking about you with that intent in mind, or so I assumed at the time. I thought it would be funny to see how you would deal with someone like her. It was silly and stupid, and I used very bad judgment. I really did not understand how truly insidious she was going to become. I really only thought lightly of it. I just wished to study you out of interest, but not to make a fool of anyone, yet I made a fool of myself.

“Oh, this is impossible, and exactly why you will be better off without me around you.”

She reigned in her horse and came to a stop, forcing him to slow and come around to pull up beside her in the opposite direction. Face to face she continued.

“Mr. Darcy, I can only tell you that I do not think you desperate, but if you were, I know I would be the last person you would wish to impose yourself upon. How could I possibly have such an opinion after I abused you so abominably to your face? I would be the last person on earth you would have an interest in! Even I know this!”

Darcy was furious now. He did not know exactly why, but yet he was. How was it possible that her estimation of him was so low? He almost shouted when he finally spoke.

“Miss Bennet, let me assure you that your well-being is very important to me. I offered you my friendship and nothing can change that, not even you yourself, though of course you do not need to credit me with yours. If you believe me sincere, then why do you suggest I should be rid of your company?”

Darcy fell silent again. He was already sorry for his outburst. It did not bode well at all. He felt even more sorry when he saw how silent and helpless she appeared. And yet all he had said was true. He would see to her well-being if only he could, regardless of whether or not he could ever hope for more. He calmed himself and looked at her.

“I am very sorry, Miss Bennet. My behaviour was unforgivable.”

He stared at her, almost without a hope that she would still listen to him.

“Miss Bennet, I do not know how else I can assure you. I do not wish to take my friendship away from you. And my friendship is not of a weak kind. It cannot be easily defeated. But you yourself may not wish to have it. If so, please, do tell me, as I would not like to do anything against your will.”

She did not know what to do or what to say anymore. She had only wanted to do what was right, and this had become so complicated.

“Mr. Darcy, I will attempt to explain my thinking a little, so that maybe you will better understand. I find that I have things that I carry with me that you cannot possibly know of. I worry a great deal about the past. Lydia's behaviour in particular put a great strain upon my family, as I am sure you know. Even though she has recently married, that still does not always diffuse the situation with people like Miss Lucy, who do not wish me well and are not beyond hurting others in the process of trying to damage only me."

She looked at him, willing him too understand this time.

“I am afraid you will think I have no faith in you or your friendship, but that is simply not true. I only wish you well and happy, and if associating yourself with me will risk your well-being in any way by subjecting you to gossip or the like, I would not wish that for you. I understand that you could withstand it, as you are a strong man, but I care too much for your welfare to wish you harm because of my actions. This is why I suggested it. Only because I worried that your knowing me was going to cause you pain. It was not a wish on my own behalf. Far from it,” she paused, wondering if she should continue and decided that it was necessary.

“I must also add that I do value your friendship, more than you can know. I find great joy in the time I spend with you,” she blushed, “and I look forward to our morning rides a great deal.”

She could not tell if he understood her or not, but she did not think she could keep from tears if he did not.

Darcy looked at her closely. His emotions and thoughts were in turmoil. There was nothing he had said today that would seem proper and needful now, in fact it was quite to the contrary. His intent had been to dispel her grief and he instead made her only more uncomfortable. He was relieved, however, that she did value his friendship. He could not bear it if it appeared he had been deceiving himself once more. ‘A very good friend, indeed,’ he thought sarcastically of his own behaviour. He started to speak, choosing his words carefully.

“Miss Bennet, I do not know what to say. It seems that my pride was hurt one more time, and I misjudged your intentions. I thank you for your friendship and I would not wish to lose it for all the treasures in the world, and yet, I have behaved as a fool causing you only more distress.

“I do not know why you think your sister’s situation might threaten me in our acquaintance. You know my own story well. You should never think I would ever censure you, or even Miss Lydia, for that matter. Actually, I feel quite guilty of what has happened myself. If it were not for my own pride and a wish to protect my family name I would have warned your father and your neighbourhood against Mr. Wickham.”

She was silent still, and he was not sure if he was not trespassing the limits again.

“Miss Bennet, I would be honoured if you let me be your real friend. If I could be the person who would have the privilege of guarding your good name in the case of any attempt to threaten your well-being. Do I ask too much?”

She was overwhelmed by his response and the heartfelt way he had given it. She could not send him away now, even if it were given as a royal decree to do so.

“No, Mr. Darcy, it is not asking too much. I am honoured to have such a loyal and good friend to protect me in such a way,” she said in all seriousness in response.

After a moment or two of silence, he brought his horse around to stand beside hers. Facing the same direction now, they each urged their horse onward.

After a little time had passed, Lizzy said, “I have been thinking most seriously that you really need to teach me how to do that smoothly. I cannot seem to bring my horse around in such a tight circle like that. I always take at least the space of a large garden to come around.”

He let out a laugh, which sounded most joyous to her ears.

“Do not laugh as if I am teasing, Mr. Darcy,” she smiled, “for I know you have seen me do this before. Here, let me demonstrate now in case you have somehow managed to miss it.”

She proceeded to turn her horse away from his. After making an extremely large and very exaggerate circle, she finally returned to him and said, “As you see, I am quite hopeless!”

Darcy smiled merrily, his dimples exposed.

“Miss Bennet, though I know that you are teasing me mercilessly, I would be a very bad teacher if I did not answer my pupil’s question. I take it then, that even if you do not need it, you want me to make the presentation. Very well.”

He moved his horse so that they rode close to each other. He reached out his arm and grasped her hand in his.

“You need to pull the straps like that. Your horse will take your lead.”

They slowly made a very tight circle together with her horse on the inside of the turn. He relished the feeling of her hand in his, and leaned closer involuntarily. A wisp of her hair playfully teasing his cheek.

“Miss Bennet, is there anything else I might be helpful in?”

Judging that it might now be safe to ask the question that was eating her up inside without either of them losing control, she decided to take the risk, since he had given her the opportunity.

“Why yes, Mr. Darcy, I do have one question I would like you to answer if you will. Something that is a mystery to me,” she smiled, making sure to show him that her question was not meant to be antagonistic in any way. “Considering all of the trouble that I have caused you in my own humble estimation, although it seems not in your own, I wonder why you would still wish to be my friend?”

He smiled. He hoped that the question was asked only half seriously.

“Why, Miss Bennet, as you have said, it is no trouble at all in my estimation.”

He hesitated but decided to continue.

“Apart from that,” he lowered his voice, “what I once told you has not changed very much. I still hold you in high esteem. You are a remarkable woman, Miss Bennet. I do not believe I have ever met anyone like you. Whatever we have decided to do with our lives, there is no reason for me to change my opinion of you. I have benefited from our acquaintance considerably and I hope to have the same opportunity in the future. I know that a friendship with a woman is not common, but for me it is not less important than one with Brougham or Bingley. I would stand by them in any situation, and so I wish to stand by you. I only wish you could trust me more and not hesitate to ask my help whenever you wish, but I hope to gain your confidence with time.”

She had got an answer that was all she could have hoped for. She now resolved to be the most faithful friend he could ever wish to have. His trust, his honesty, and his most generous spirit deserved that from her most certainly.

“I thank you for your good opinion of me. I am not sure that I have earned it as of yet, but you have given me reason to make sure that I live up to it from now on. I am honoured to have a gentleman of such integrity and grace to call my good friend.”

She thought to add one more thing to let him know she was in earnest and most grateful to him.

“I assure you that you have my confidence. If you did not always have it, it was not because of your own doing, but only from my own misreading of situations. I think I will begin to use your offered help in future to make sure I do not stray in my understanding again. If that is alright with you?” she looked questioningly at him.

Darcy smiled cordially.

“Thank you, Miss Bennet.”

He looked at her as they slowed their horses, and he then descended from his.

“I think that to not be ungrounded I should offer you my help where you need it right now. As much as I admire your seat on your horse, I believe your present position is not the most beneficial. If I may?”

He reached out his arms to hold her waist.

“If you moved a bit forward and straighten your back you should find your seat much more comfortable and helpful in riding.”

She heeded his advice, and he helped her in rearranging her position slightly by moving her form in the proper direction. He mounted his horse again and looked at her, moving his eyes up and down her body. “Perfect,” he whispered.

“Shall we try something new now?” he asked.

A little breathless with his close proximity, yet still enjoying the most attentive teaching style, she was thankful for his suggestion.

“Yes, I think I would like to try going faster. Up to this point you have only allowed me to walk my horse. Do you think it advisable to add some speed next? Am I ready for that, do you suppose?”

Her eagerness for improving her riding skills pleased him.

“Let us see.”

They started to ride ahead, slowly at first, but then soon picked up the pace. He rode closely enough to her to be able to take control of her horse if there was a need. Soon she gained much more confidence, and the ride was more and more pleasing. Her motions became synchronised with his, and they rode in perfect accordance. He observed how beautifully her face was flush from the exercise. Her bosom heaved in the rhythm of their ride. Wisps of her hair escaped from their pins and were now being blown by the wind.

Their ride was everything it should have been. The start of her day now long forgotten, Lizzy relished each moment and movement with him. She gave no thought to the time or how far they had travelled away from Rosefarm Cottage. She was content and quite ready to enjoy this ride for as long as it could last.

After they had traversed several miles Darcy spotted a picturesque place over a stream for their respite. He helped her to dismount, tied their horses to a tree and used a mantle that was attached to his saddle to arrange a place for them to sit near the stream.

“Please, Miss Bennet, make yourself comfortable. I did not have anything more than coffee for my breakfast, but Mrs. McLaughlin handed me some provision when she saw I was going out for a ride. Shall we check and see what dainties she prepared for us?”

When he opened the satchel they found oranges, berries, meat, cheese, bread, and a bottle for water.

“Well, Mr. Darcy, it seems that we could survive the entire day on these provisions. Mrs. McLaughlin must think you a very heavy eater! Perhaps I should not speak thusly though. It may well be that you have a hearty appetite and my statement will keep you from eating all that you would wish.” A smile touched her lips as she got up to walk to the stream to fill the bottle with fresh water.

Returning and seating herself beside him once more, she took a long drink. “I thank you for sharing your fine feast and drink with me,” and she handed him the bottle and began to peel an orange for them to share as well.

“Will you tell me something of your parents? I know they are no longer with us, but I would like to know something of them to understand how their son came to be who he is. A story or a description perhaps?”

Her question made Darcy a bit shy, as all questions about his private life had that effect upon him, but he certainly did not mind Elizabeth asking it. She was not looking at him, being occupied with the fruit, and she looked so lovely in the morning sun. There was hardly anything he would mind her asking.

“You know of course that my mother and Lady Catherine were sisters, although I remember my mother as kinder and warmer. During my childhood years, before Georgiana was born and when my mother was in good health, Pemberley was glowing with joy. She was very proud of me, loved me without limits and spoilt me accordingly.”

Elizabeth looked at him with her eyes gleaming, and he returned her smile.

“I cannot lie to you, Miss Bennet. I was very spoiled and you know it all too well.”

She finished with the orange, split it in half and gave him his share.

“I am sure you were spoiled,” she said looking at him now. “Most loving parents spoil their children in some way despite their best intentions. My father did the same with me, I think, indulging me more that was probably wise with his attentions. Yes, I was spoiled as well, but then you have already discovered that flaw in me, I am sure,” she said while placing some cheese and meat on a hunk of bread she had skilfully torn from the partial loaf. Handing it to him, she continued talking while making one for herself.

“Had they not done so we would not be enjoying breakfast together and there would be two entirely different creatures sitting here instead, that is if we sat here at all.”

She looked into his eyes.

“Now, Mr. Darcy, it is your turn to praise my father, just as I fully and most appreciatively praise your mother!” Giving him a pert look, she took a bite of her orange.

He leaned on his side, putting one arm under his head.

“Your father, Miss Bennet, must be an outstanding man to have raised such a daughter as yourself. I am sure you both occupied your time admirably - reading books and improving your mind,” Darcy winked to her. “It seems that your sense of observation and the sharpness of your mind, so liberally applied in discerning the follies of others, are derived from him.

“Please, correct me if I am wrong, but I think that the Gardiners also must have had an influence on you. Their intelligence and manners are everything one might wish for. I certainly hope to maintain their acquaintance in future. Still, I think that your wit, stubbornness and impertinence are the features which you bred on your own.” Darcy smiled at her sheepishly.

She grinned. “I thank you! Yes, I do take full personal credit for those most charming attributes! At least the stubbornness and the impertinence.

“You are right about my aunt and uncle though. I have spent much time with them. They are good and amiable people and I know they would enjoy continuing their acquaintance with you very much. They spoke very highly of you and the time we spent at Pemberley. My uncle was particularly enamoured of your trout stream, I do believe!”

Leaning over him while reaching for the water bottle he had left sitting oh his other side, she misjudged and leaned too far, falling against him. Lifting herself back up immediately, she blushed and apologised.

“I am so sorry! I should have asked you to hand it to me, but you looked so comfortable I did not want to disturb you. Shall we just blame it on my stubbornness and have some of these nice berries?”

Darcy grinned rakishly.

“Miss Bennet, have I already told you how much I like your stubbornness? Although I would not mind blaming it on your impertinence either.”

He reached out his hand and took some berries from her palm. She looked at him questioningly, as the rest of the berries were lying beside her on the blanket in easier reach.

“I am sorry, Miss Bennet, I could not help myself. I used to steal berries like that from my mother when we picnicked. She did not like it either.”

Neither his mischievous grin nor the glimmer of boldness in his eyes concurred with his words of apology as he put the berries into his mouth.

Still blushing from the fall, and then his look and comment, but enjoying herself very much all the same, she replied, “You must have been most incorrigible in your youth, then. Oh, wait! You still are, as you are still stealing berries from women! You are just lucky that I do not mind sharing, as I am sure your mother did not either.”

They sat eating the fruit in companionable silence for a few moments, Lizzy's blush finally fading.

“I would never have considered taking berries from my mother's hand,” she pondered. “My father yes, but I think my mother would not have stood for it. Not if some were ready at hand. I am afraid I am not her favourite daughter. I have disappointed her in a way. We do not see eye to eye very often, but I do love her and know that she cares for me, however, we do not think very much alike at all.”

Suddenly surprised that she had shared this so freely without hesitation, and yet realising at the same time that she was not embarrassed in the least, she finished by asking him, “Are you more like your mother or your father?”

“Like my father, I am sure. I was raised to be a Darcy, and my father taught me well. Actually, he taught me almost everything I know. He used to spend a lot of time with me, or rather made sure that I would spend my time with him. We were visiting our tenants together from the time I was a very small child. Yes, he taught me well. I was ready when he passed on.”

Darcy looked at the river, but only for a brief moment. He smiled at Elizabeth.

“Although in disposition I might be more like my mother. She was more reserved and not as amiable as he.”

“I find you perfectly amiable, Mr. Darcy.”

He looked warmly into her eyes. “I told you that your influence on me is very beneficial. I have not felt like this for years – so much at ease.”

He hesitated before venturing, “May I ask why you think you have disappointed your mother?”

She sighed. Her answer would bring up a subject that she somehow did not expect, but he already knew of it, so it could not cause her much embarrassment now.

“That is a question that you know the answer to, although you do not realise it,” and this time she was the one staring ahead and not directly at him.

“She was very unhappy I did not choose to become Mrs. Collins. She would not stop speaking of her disappointment for some time, no matter who was in hearing distance,” she paused, still looking out at the rolling river.

“I cannot say that I blame her. Our family estate is entailed and it will go to our cousin, Mr. Collins, since I have no brothers. A marriage to him would have been the answer to a great deal of concerns that worry her should something happen to my father. From her perspective it was unpardonable that I would refuse. But from mine it would have been insupportable to have married someone I did not love, even though it is perfectly acceptable and almost expected that one would do so.”

She said nothing more for a moment, then finally looking at him again, she continued.

“Well, Mr. Darcy, if my influence on you has been beneficial, you have most certainly had the same effect on me. This is the first time I could speak of it without becoming embarrassed or mortified. Your presence is most soothing to my confessional soul it seems.”

Darcy looked away and considered carefully what she had just told him. Their house was entailed. It explained why their mother was trying so hard to find them husbands. They would have no place to live after their father died. And yet Elizabeth had turned the offer down even though her mother had been so insistent upon her accepting it. He was not surprised she did refuse, not after his own experience, but he could see how difficult it had to be for her to confront her mother after that.

He felt his anger growing. How could Mrs. Bennet be so cruel to her own daughter in order to secure a house, and at what price? She herself married a man many times better than Mr. Collins. He recalled the Netherfield ball. He remembered Elizabeth dancing with that rector and her embarrassment. She must have known already that he would propose. Darcy’s fist clenched when he thought that man would ever touch Elizabeth.

But he would not. Elizabeth had refused. Relief and gratitude followed. If she ever married another man it would be at least a better man than that one.

He now looked at her and spoke. “Miss Bennet, you did the right thing. Actually you did the only thing. It would be painful watching you fade in such an unequal marriage.”

He then stopped himself from saying more.

“I am sorry. It is not my place to lecture you. You know perfectly well why you refused. But you claim that I have a soothing effect on you, and it does not seem so since you look sad. Can I do anything to humour you?

“I am not sad, truly,” she replied, “for I do not regret my decision. I appreciate that you understand so well exactly why I could not. My father would like you very much I think, as you and he are of the same mind concerning some things. He would not support my mother either when all was said and done. So, you see, I had an ally after all.

“Would you like more food?”

He shook his head and she began to pack the leftovers back into the satchel.

“I am afraid that I have turned the mood in a rather dour direction, which was not my intent, so I now request that to humour me you tell me a story. Any story at all, but it must be a happy one!”

Darcy leaned back and narrowed his eyes to look at her in the prism of sunlight.

“Very well then. I shall tell you why I was expecting to find a siren in a river. It is a legend I once heard of about a siren from a distant European country.

“Siren, who is called by the people Syrena was the daughter of the powerful King Baltyk who ruled his kingdom from a palace located at the bottom of the Baltic Sea.

“The upper part of Syrena's body took the form of a human female. The mythical creature had long flowing hair and from the waist down was covered with silvery scales to the tip of her tail. The bottom of the sea was the only world she knew.

“One day she narrowly escaped being caught by some fishermen while swimming close to shore. When she raised her head above the surface of the sea she saw the vista of a strange new world near the mouth the river Vistula, whose waters empty into the Baltic Sea. Syrena, curious about her new surroundings, began to swim upstream. She saw strange things, the likes of which she had never known before. Trees, hills, flat lands and strange creatures that walked on this land and flew in the sky above her. Finally Syrena came to an area of land known as the plains of Mazovia deep in the heart of Poland. The people there had cleared the forest, built homes for themselves, and lived from fishing and hunting. Syrena fell in love with the Mazovian tribe and decided to stay with them. In the evenings she sang her nostalgic, haunting melodies to them.

“I have heard she particularly fancied singing Burns.” He winked at her.

“One day, a big hunt was held for the Mazovian prince. Chasing a reindeer, the prince got lost in the forest. He also lost his golden arrow with which he was hunting. Searching for it, he came to the banks of the Vistula River. There, in amazement, he saw a white arm extending from the water holding his arrow aloft. He became enchanted with Syrena, the beautiful half-fish, half-woman creature.

“She smiled at him and, handing him the arrow, pointed in the direction he was to take. He soon came to a clearing in the forest where there stood a small cottage, the home of the fisherman Warsz, his wife and their twin sons. Mrs. Warszowa gave him a good supper and invited him to stay overnight.

“The next morning she refused any payment from him. The prince was moved by their hospitality and their way of life. He vowed he would return with his people, which he did, and together they cleared more land and built a small settlement, which was named ‘Warszowa’. Later it became know as Warszawa, and three centuries ago it became the capital of Poland.”

He sent a smile her way.

“But if you find a romantic story more to your liking, there are also other versions of the legend. One tells of Syrena living in the Vistula River and convincing the lovers, Wars and Sawa, to fund a town there.

“No one knows which legend is true, but the fact remains that Syrena is always pictured holding a sword and a shield, and she is described as the Defender of Warsaw.

“So, you see, one can find only a very brave siren in a river.”

“I like your siren story, Mr. Darcy, especially if she likes to sing Burns.”

They sat there like that for some time, exchanging stories and quips. They snacked a little more and shared the bottle of water; each gazing at the other when it seemed it would not be noticed. Neither had any attention to spare for the sun, which was telling the passing of time by rising higher and higher in the sky until it finally began to go back down the other side. Or if they did, they ignored it, until at last they could ignore it no longer.

“I think, as enjoyable as this has been, it is high time we headed back. My Aunt and Holly will be wondering where I am, as they think I am only on a morning stroll.”

He agreed that it was probably time, although she thought, but could not be sure, that he seemed as reluctant as she was herself. He watered the horses, folded the blanket and replaced the things on his horse. He helped her to mount hers, and once he was on his own mount, they set off, riding side by side once more.

Upon arriving at their meeting place, he held her waist in a firm grasp to help her dismount. He could scent the wind in her hair. He released her when she was on the ground and moved back, but only a little. He took her hand in his and put a delicate kiss on it.

“Miss Bennet, you are making great improvements everyday. May I have the pleasure of meeting you tomorrow?”

“You may expect me here at the usual time, Mr. Darcy. I thank you for both your compliments on my riding and your fine teaching skills. I can now make a tight circle as well as anyone,” and smiling slyly at him, she walked away down the path, glancing back once or twice to see him still smiling at her.

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