Scotch and Sirens - Lizzy and Darcy - Scotch and Sirens

When Darcy re-entered the parlour he noticed Miss Lucy coming his way. He was quite pleased with this turn of events. He had already spent far too much time talking to Elizabeth. When he had given a second thought to their exchange he was not as pleased with it anymore. True, she seemed to enjoy the conversation, but in fact, apart from several witty remarks nothing was really said, and it definitely was not his style. Was it a kind of a parlour flirt? Yes, probably so. Covering additional meanings with causal conversation belonged to the best arts of society. However, this artfulness was what he always despised and rightly so, the best example of it right in his hand. Half an hour spent on futile talk. He comprehended neither her feelings nor his own, and without knowing the latter any further attempt provided only undesirable danger.

Thus he politely smiled to the approaching lady. “Miss Lucy, have you enjoyed the respite from the gentlemen’s presence?”

“Oh, I do not know about that, Mr. Darcy. The presence of gentlemen sometimes helps lend some sense of decorum to a party. We women gossip too much if left alone for too long. In fact, I was just hearing from Miss Bennet that you have a house in Derbyshire that has some very fine grounds to walk in.”

“Indeed, I have, Miss Lucy. And I am sincerely fond of it, but my opinion is naturally biased, so Miss Bennet’s words must have much more veracity. Have you ever been to Derbyshire?”

“No, I have not had that pleasure, but I would enjoy it very much, I am sure. I love walks, and your grounds sound lovely. Do you travel much Mr. Darcy, or do you prefer hearth and home?”

“I travel quite extensively, and I do like it, especially when in pleasant company, but Pemberley is my home, and I am always happy to return there. Are you from Scotland?”

“I was born here. My father inherited a croft from an uncle with no heir of his own. But I have spent much of my youth in London with an aunt, attending school there and summering here until I was of age. I have travelled a little and also enjoy it very much, but you are correct in saying that the company must be of the pleasant variety.”

“You did travel then. May I ask where to?”

“Mostly around Scotland and London and its outskirts. I have been to Bath once. My most favourite place would be the western islands of Scotland. Have you ever been there, Mr. Darcy? I have never seen anything so beautiful. Any one who loves to travel would be rendered breathless on a visit there!”

He was quite enjoying the conversation. There was nothing unusual in its substance, but at this moment he appreciated its undemanding form. “No, I have not. Pray, what makes them so beautiful? Maybe I should visit there if you recommend and admire them so.”

“I am afraid I am not up to the task of describing them adequately to you,” she demurred. “I am certain any attempt I made would only convince you there is no need to go after all, as I do not have the proper words to do them justice. I will just say that I climbed up the Quiraing on the northern part of Skye, and I was so taken with the moment and the amazing view that was before me that I did not ever want to leave that one spot. The wind was blowing hard against my back, the world was spread out before me and I felt as if I could see forever! It was a glorious moment, and one I shall never forget.”

Darcy noticed how her eyes shone while she was reliving the view. “It must be a remarkable area, indeed. And I can see how much you loved it. Would you not like to settle there one day?”

“Oh, I have never thought about that. I do know I would like to settle where my heart is, wherever that may end up being, for it has not yet found its place.”

Lucy glanced down at her hands for a few moments and then turned her eyes back to him. “Tell me something about where you have travelled, Mr. Darcy, if you will. Do you have a favourite destination?”

“I have been to most places in England and some in Scotland. I travel a lot during the year – partly because of my obligations and partly for pleasure with some friends of mine. I have also visited some countries on the Continent, but not as many as I would wish to, though of course that may all be remedied in the future. I must say, of all those places Scotland seems outstandingly charming.”

She gave him her most innocent smile. “I understand your wish to see more of the continent. I would love to visit there myself. Tell me, which country would you like to see the most? Greece for all of the interesting mythology one could study, or Italy, where one could study the Romans more closely? Or perhaps some other place?”

Miss Steele, who had been standing near them, had heard just enough of the conversation to utter, “Is Rome not full of lions? I would be frightened to visit any place that had lions."

Lucy smiled indulgently at her sister. “I do not think so, dear,” she reassured her.

“That is a relief, I must say, if Mr. Darcy plans to visit there!”

“Well, Italy seems to have a new god now, so perhaps it is not the best time to pay a visit. Greece is ruled by the Ottomans, but still, I am tempted to see the country that gave birth to our culture and where philosophy is its language.”

Darcy noticed both girls grimace, though likely for different reasons, and thought that maybe it was time to change the subject before he got too close to topics unfriendly to them.

He smiled to lighten the mood. “So, Miss Lucy, what else did Miss Bennet say about me?”

“We only really talked of your grounds, Mr. Darcy,” she said most decisively. “Miss Bennet said she enjoyed walking them a great deal. There was nothing else.”

Darcy smiled slightly, trying to mask his disappointment. “Why, it seems then that there is nothing more about me than my grounds.”

Lucy smiled back. “On the contrary, Mr. Darcy! You are obviously more than the sum of your grounds.”

Lizzy had agreed with Holly that they should watch the situation. It was decided they would settle themselves near the pair while still being social to the other guests. However, as soon as the men made their return to the ladies, both she and her cousin were wanted to serve the coffee, and so she did her best to observe the couple from her perch there.

Of course she could not help but ponder the precarious situation she had created, trying to decipher what had made her do something so out of character. It was painfully clear that her own feelings were not as resolved concerning him as she had thought or would have liked them to be.

Holly had asked if she was quite sure he no longer had any regard for her. Had she not herself touched on that very thing so many times during her earlier conversation with him? And yet she still had no real answer. And did she want him to feel such regard? If so, she certainly had a funny way of showing it by sending Lucy Steele after him — and in such a way!

She could not possibly tell Holly what she was feeling, as she hardly knew herself. There was just too much uncertainty involved. In fact she was grateful that Holly had not understood her full meaning when she had openly expressed the thought that she was in deep trouble.

She wondered desperately what was wrong with her reasoning abilities.

Lizzy continued to keep an eye on Mr. Darcy and Miss Lucy while she poured. They seemed to be getting along fine. Instead of saying nothing, and therefore trying to dissuade Miss Lucy from remaining in his company, he seemed to be an obliging and engaging companion. Maybe a rescue would not be necessary after all. She was not sure how this made her feel. She should be relieved, but that possibility somehow made her feel worse.

This would not do. Not at all. Would this dinner ever be over so there would finally be an end to any further obligation to Mr. Darcy? Surely he would not seek out her company after this, as the social requirements would be concluded, and if he was not around she would not have cause to wonder about him or her own feelings any longer.

Lizzy was relieved when everyone who wanted coffee had had it so that she and Holly could leave the table. They joined the party of people speaking to Mrs. Tournier, and placed themselves so that they might easily observe the conversing couple in the corner, but Lizzy had trouble attending to what was being said in her own little group for all of her mixed feelings.

She watched as Lucy smiled and said something to him, and she was suddenly sure she would not be able to keep to the resolve to intervene only if necessary. She really needed to go over and see what sort of damage she had wrought, so she slowly wandered that way and noticed that Miss Steele was staring off into the distance and not really appearing to attend to the talk. Lizzy thought they might as well have been standing there all alone for all that the girl contributed to the conversation, but she began by addressing Anne since she was the only one who appeared to notice her approach.

“Are you enjoying yourself, Miss Steele?” she asked.

The girl answered with, “What? Oh yes, thank you. I was just thinking about Ottomans and wondering what they are,” and the girl’s eyes seemed to glaze over a bit as she reapplied herself to her task.

Before Lizzy could ask about her meaning Mrs. Steele interrupted them. “Miss Bennet,” she said, “I do hope you are planning to attend the party we are hosting in a few days.

“I would also like to extend an invitation to you and your friend, Mr. Darcy. Now that we have made your acquaintance we would like to meet him as well. I will of course be sending an invitation tomorrow. I hope that once you have had a chance to check your calendar you will find that you will be able to attend.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Steele. I need to consult Lord Brougham of course, but I assure you that if there are no other obstacles we will be honoured to accept your kind invitation.”

“Well, we will look forward to having you both as guests,” she told him, and then asked her daughters to assist her in spreading the invitation to the other guests.

With a wistful gaze back at Mr. Darcy, Lucy reluctantly followed her mother across the room.

Lizzy glanced awkwardly at him. She had not intended to be left alone with him, especially since she had no idea what Lucy had said to him regarding their earlier conversation. She looked down at her feet and then up to his face again. After repeating this manoeuvre twice more she realised she should stop at once and say something.

“And how did you find Miss Lucy, Mr. Darcy? Did you find her conversation pleasing enough to distract you for a while?”

“Why, Miss Bennet, it seems that you were perfectly right again. The neighbourhood in Scotland is very pleasing.”

Yet his response was not very pleasing to her ears.

“I am happy that you find it so. And may I ask what topics you and she spoke on? I would not wish to bore you by repeating any of them,” she smiled politely in reply.

Darcy smiled genuinely. “Why, I do not think you can bore me. Whatever is said by one person will not necessarily be repeated by another, even if the topic remains unchanged. We talked about journeys.” He looked at her curiously. “Miss Lucy mentioned that you and she talked about me. May I ask what about?”

Lizzy felt a brief second of relief followed immediately by a flush of embarrassment. She blushed. “I do believe we talked mostly of your grounds, Mr. Darcy. Miss Lucy had asked me about you, being curious about a new acquaintance.”

She stopped, but the guilt she felt made her continue almost immediately when he did not respond right away.

“Tell me, what would you have me say about you to someone you do not yet know well? For future reference of course, for I would make sure to get it right next time if I erred in giving too little information tonight.”

Darcy noticed her blush. She seemed embarrassed by his asking. He hoped to lighten the mood. “I can hardly advise you on this, since I really do not know what your opinion of me is. But I was glad to hear you approved the grounds at Pemberley.”

‘Nor do I know myself, Mr. Darcy,’ she thought, ‘but it seems it would be so much easier to discover if I only knew your own opinion of me!’

“You mistook my meaning, Sir. The question does not pertain to anyone else's opinion about you, but instead to what you would have someone's first impression be of yourself if you could choose it. For instance, I would not wish my faults to be the first thing that was spoken of about me to someone else, but I would rather have one say as little as possible instead and let the listener make up his own mind about the rest as they went along. Otherwise, the listener might form a false impression ahead of time, or even run away beforehand and not further the acquaintance,” she laughed.

“Miss Bennet, excuse me, but I think I did not misunderstand. I cannot expect you to say anything about me that is not your own opinion. No matter what I think about myself I would not wish you to repeat it if you did not share my view. I must thank you though, for not sharing my faults. I am glad that at least my grounds were worth your compliment.”

Her face grew more serious as he spoke, and she began to wonder if this man would ever make anything easy for her.

“I am sure that if my view of you was of an uncomplimentary nature I would still not share it out of politeness, and if it were the same as your own view, then I would once again not share it out of respect for your privacy. So you see, Mr. Darcy, either way I would say very little about you to someone who would ask. Your grounds were simply neutral ground, so to speak. I would not have shared your faults in any case – that is if I knew of any to share.”

Darcy was too tempted not to make another remark. “I am glad then that at least my grounds met with your approval in the absence of other merits.”

She was exasperated and uncertain how to proceed. “Mr. Darcy,” she said in all seriousness, “I think there is vastly more good to say about you, for you are more than the sum of your grounds after all. Your parks are merely property. You, on the other hand, are much more complicated and interesting than mere land. Although I might sometimes compare you to your maze garden, if you have one at Pemberley that is. For sometimes you can be rather hard to puzzle out. But then I suppose we all can be, can we not?”

Darcy was pleased to see that she had not abandoned the study of his character.

“I am more than the sum of my grounds! Interesting, for Miss Lucy said exactly the same thing. We were interrupted just when I was about to ask her meaning, but now I can see that you are both of one mind, so perhaps you will be kind enough to explain what exactly I am.

“I, in return, am eager to assure you that I have no maze garden, nor do I believe I can be compared to one. My opinions and actions are always in perfect accordance to each other. Nonetheless, if there is anything about me that puzzles you, I am ready to answer your questions.”

Lizzy could not easily contain the feeling of irony that welled up inside of her, but she managed as best she could. “Mr. Darcy, please, if you think Miss Lucy and I are of the same mind you could not have stumbled further from the truth. If we have happened to use the same phrase, I assure you it does not necessarily mean that we would have the same direction in our thoughts or opinions. Her view of you would most likely be far different than my own, so I cannot give you an answer that will suffice for both of us.”

That was exactly what Darcy was afraid of. He was under the impression that Miss Lucy did like him, thus he could only imagine how much different a direction Elizabeth’s thoughts took.

“Speaking for myself,” she continued, “I must admit that I sometimes wonder if you know how you are perceived at all, at least by me. For if you truly believe your actions and opinions are always in perfect accordance, then it implies you think it is obvious to others what those opinions might be, yet you are a quiet man of few words, and those words do not always speak volumes.” She was smiling at him and yet her eyes held a serious look. “I admit to being often exceedingly puzzled by you, but it does not necessarily follow that I do not find the solving of puzzles an agreeable pastime.”

“Miss Bennet, my judgement may not always be the best, but I am ready to correct myself if I am proved wrong. However, my actions are in accordance with my opinions. I would not wish to puzzle you though, so please feel free to ask directly whenever you feel the need.”

Lizzy had half expected him to ask her what things had puzzled her, yet she was grateful he had not. She would not have been able to tell him exactly which statements of his had confused her without fear of embarrassment, or for what it would tell him about the path her own thoughts had been travelling down.

“Mr. Darcy, I thank you for permission to question you at will. I hope you will not come to regret granting me such a liberty. I am afraid that I take people at their word and just may inundate you with questions at the most unexpected moments. Are you sure you would still wish to grant me this favour before it is too late to take it back?”

He nodded his consent.

“Then I have one question to ask now. How would you describe me to strangers, Mr. Darcy? Your answer will better help me to understand the meaning of the question when you asked it of me, as it was so broad a question that I could have gone in many and all directions with an answer. Perhaps I can then give it a proper answer regarding yourself.”

Darcy looked into her eyes. “I would say that you are one of the most intelligent and beautiful women of my acquaintance.”

Seeing her blush Darcy turned his gaze and smiled. “I would not add of course that you like misunderstanding my meaning and professing opinions that are not your own. Therefore, I would still like to know what things are so puzzling about me.”

Feeling a little emboldened by his continuing to pursue the subject she decided to answer the challenge.

“Very well, Mr. Darcy, I will give you one example out of many to show you how I often have to puzzle out something that you have said, and to therefore show why I have some trouble sketching your character. But you will have to answer a question first to aid me in my explanation of what is perplexing about you. Are you willing?”

He nodded his agreement with a hint of growing interest in his eye.

“You remember that day when my cousin and I made our fateful appearance by the river and embarrassment and chaos ensued? Once we began walking toward Clyne you asked me what had induced me to wander such a long way to perform as a siren, and if my purpose was to induce some sailor to me by my singing. Do you remember that? Pray, tell me, if you were in my place, how would you interpret that remark?”

Darcy looked a bit sheepish. “Miss Bennet, as you already know I felt perfectly induced by the scene and the association to sirens seemed so natural. I admit it was very bold of me. I am sorry if you did not like the remark.”

“Well, then you will soon see where my trouble lies, Mr. Darcy, because I did not already know any such thing by your actions or your speech. You must keep in mind that at the time I was still rather embarrassed and trying to hide it. But while you thought of only one way to interpret your comment, I could think of no less than three possible reasons behind your saying it,” she paused, unsure if she should go on.

Deciding to plunge ahead and risk looking foolish, she continued, “You could have meant to jest to try and help ease my embarrassed state, which would have been welcomed. You could have meant to compliment me on my singing, which would have been kind. Or you could have thought I had come by design – and it appeared to me that you did – which might also mean that you thought me a calculating woman who would go to any lengths – even purposely embarrass myself in my efforts to attract a man's attention. In my already discombobulated state of mind, it was rather hard not to think the worst.”

She looked at him most earnestly, willing him to understand what she was risking by speaking thusly to him.

“Do you begin to see how I might be confused when I cannot see your feelings and did not know you were perfectly induced by the scene? It was not that I did not like the remark, Mr. Darcy, it was that I could not read its meaning.”

Darcy saw her embarrassment and felt sorry for ever putting her in such a situation. She had lowered her head, and he needed all of his strength of will not to bring his hand up to raise her chin so that her eyes would meet his.

“Miss Bennet, yes, I did hope to lighten the situation. I was also more than happy to hear your voice again. But I would never think you vain. May I add that there are people who believe sirens to be the bravest of creatures who guard their cities with a sword and a shield?

“Miss Bennet, I would have never thought that you might be afraid of me.”

“…which, you must agree, is exactly why Lord Sidmouth’s position defies all common sense,” said Mrs. Tournier in an uncharacteristically patient voice to her companion. Undoubtedly he would have answered her in the same vein, because even though the tone of their voices was light, there was passion in their eyes and a heightened colour in their cheeks that betrayed an earnest debate. That was not to be, however, for Mr. Grant sat down beside her with a heavy sigh and once more declaimed a poetical verse. He finished with another heavy sigh, and his hostess regarded him in silence.

“I trust, Mr. Grant”, she finally said with pursed lips, “you do not mean to imply that my dinner has given you indigestion. It would suit my conversation with your uncle on the Poor Laws and their amendment quite ill.”

Mr. Grant gave a start and apologised for his ill-timed use of Mr. Blake’s sentiments in a disjointed manner.

Arabella could bear it no longer. She stood up and addressed her daughter in a strong voice that carried over the parlour and left no room for interpretation.

“Holly. Mr. Grant suffers from indigestion. It is time for some silent recuperation with the soothing aid of music. Where are the Johann Baptiste Cramer piano sonatas I brought with me from town?”

The music terminated any further conversation. Darcy glanced at Elizabeth. They both seemed very uncomfortable with what had been said. He bowed slightly and excused himself from her company. He moved towards the middle of the room to better see Miss Lucy, who has just taken her place at the piano.

As Miss Steele finished her performance, Mr. Darcy barely had time to settle in for a sonata by Miss Tournier before he felt a presence by his side. It was Mrs. Tournier.

“Well, Mr. Darcy”, she briskly said under her breath. “I suppose we must count ourselves fortunate his Lordship could not attend tonight, since it seems my daughter has been tortured quite enough by young men to drive her to distraction: one by excessive attention to coupling poetry to her person, one by studied attention to her cousin and one by not attending at all. In the absence of a real sparring partner, I think some exercise at the piano will do her good, do you not agree?”

Darcy was not sure if Mrs. Tournier was more worried on behalf of her daughter because of attentions that were unwanted, misdirected, or absent, but he was determined to please Elizabeth’s family even if it meant that he would have to be constantly evading some advances of a delicate nature, or persuade his friend to practise civility under battle conditions.

“Yes, if the piano is what gives her respite she should use the opportunity. Can you tell me, however, what kind of gentlemanly conduct would be preferable so as not to upset your daughter in future?”

Mrs. Tournier smiled wryly. “My dear Mr. Darcy. Her father was French and her mother is a bluestocking. I should say there is very little English gentlemanly conduct that would not upset her, and, more to the point, she thrives on it.”

“Mrs. Tournier, I am sure it cannot be true. There must be at least one gentleman who would meet your daughter’s approval. If she does not want to be judged, why would she judge so easily?”

Mrs. Tournier smiled at this very earnest young man who eyed her with a serious look. She practised her prerogative as an older woman, took his arm and steered him to the other side of the room to be able to talk more privately.

“I think, Mr. Darcy, you are a good man. You are impossibly sincere and probably quite lost among all those fine principles and moral convictions you hold while you strive to make sense of this bewildering world around you and to live up to your own requirements, but I think you will understand me perfectly when I tell you my daughter does not want to judge – she simply has been left with an impossible male standard and an unfulfilled love affair. When her father died I had lived and loved and argued with the man for close to ten years. I loved him deeply, but she loves an ideal. Added to that she has been taught to value her own opinions. That might cause her anguish now but will be of invaluable worth once she finds her way to her own heart.”

“Mrs. Tournier, I perfectly understand. I know, however, that even meeting the ideal cannot assure one’s happiness if one does not take the trouble to nurse it. Also, there is a possibility that the ideal, or love itself, will not be recognised when they come. Judgements made too hastily may bring much more sorrow than delight.”

He glanced at Miss Tournier, who was still seated at the piano. “Let me assure you that both Lord Brougham and I admire and respect opinionated women.”

Mrs. Tournier smiled and let go of his arm as he once again led her to a chair by her daughter.

“All intelligent men do until they actually meet one”, she muttered, not malignantly but more philosophically to herself. “Well, then, Mr. Darcy,” she continued in a more vigorous voice, “I would congratulate you on a very valuable and true observation and me on a pleasant evening, since I am convinced that remark must be based on first-hand knowledge and conviction. You must then give my sincere regards to Lord Brougham and beg him to present himself one day so that he cannot escape the singularity of receiving my sincere gratitude together with some of those choice opinions when he returns.”

Darcy assured Mrs. Tournier that his friend would be more than willing to visit and bowed his good bye. He had heard Elizabeth begin playing the piano and wanted to listen to her performance uninterrupted before leaving the party.

Lizzy had been relieved when Mr. Darcy had excused himself. She had, of course, gone too far once again. Would she never learn? She had taken a chance and let him see her confusion about his intent, and while he was gracious and kind he was also embarrassed at what she had said. And now he thought her afraid of him as well. He had not understood, but had only been able to read the surface and think he had erred and insulted her. It seemed she would never be able to be clear whenever he was concerned, nor sure of anything regarding him, and she did not even know if she wanted to be. Why was she so confused about this man all of the time? And why was she so confusing when she spoke to him?

She stood alone, listening to others play until she herself was called to the piano and could not find a way to demur from the task. She sat and began to play and sing a Burns’ song without even thinking or caring how it might be taken.

...The lily it is pure, and the lily it is fair,
And in her lovely bosom I will place the lily there
The daisy's for simplicity and unaffected air
And a' to be a posie to my ain dear May...

Darcy was enchanted by Elizabeth’s voice. He briefly wondered if she has chosen Burns on purpose, but decided against any daring assumptions. As soon as she finished her performance he approached her to make his farewells.

“Miss Bennet, allow me to thank you for the charming evening. I wish to tell you something before I leave, if you do not mind of course.”

He held her eyes to see if she acquiesced.

“I know that words are easy to misjudge. I cannot know how you read them. Thus please, remember that I desire nothing but genuine friendship with you. Whatever I say is always meant in good will.”

“I thank you for your words, Mr. Darcy, and assure you that it is my fond wish as well. I will remember what you have said, and when I am in doubt I will always choose to opt for the interpretation that casts the kindest light on us both. I hope you will do the same.”

He smiled at her and said, “Thank you, Miss Bennet. That is exactly what I had hoped for.”

He then took his leave. Very soon, the other guests did the same and the ladies of Rosefarm were left alone. The eventful evening had finally come to an end for Lizzy – leaving her with an answer to her confusion about his intentions at long last.

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