Scotch and Sirens

Chapter Eleven

 

Mrs. McLaughlin took in the extraordinary sight calmly. True, she was most certainly not used to taking orders from her Master in that tone of voice and had he been alone she doubted whether she would have met the orders with such equanimity. But then perhaps there was more to the situation that called for deliberation.

Mr. Darcy seemed to have lost his natural reserve and was more anxious to apologise for his friend and address the ladies in a soothing manner. And the ladies! Well, they must have been victims of some accident for what other reason could two young women of obvious gentle birth be doing on this fine hot summer day with drenched clothes underneath the gentlemen’s coats slung over their shoulders and dripping bonnets in their hands, while making water marks and dirty footprints on the floor. Well, all would be clear, she had no doubt. But first things first…

“Awricht”, she said briskly, with the thickest accent she could affect, “follae me then leedies. Th’ kitchie is richt throu here.”

Once they came through she shut the door to the house and the kitchen entrance, and without further ado began to insist in them taking off their petticoats, shoes and stockings once more and undressing down to their undershirts. What the girls thought about this she cared not and only huffed when Holly tried to insist on her petticoat being quite dry already. She snatched it from her hands and proceeded to hang it over the washing line by the fireplace without further ado.

“Nou, ye’ be certaint to couerie naur to the gleed an get mawsie while I get the haps for ye,” she said, and left them to themselves.

Noticing the look of complete confusion in Lizzy’s eyes, Holly smiled for the first time since their last song ended.

“She’s telling us to sit near the fire to warm ourselves. They do that sometimes, you know. I think some servants think we expect it from them even, for them to use Scottish. Or maybe it is to make us think they cannot really speak English well so we will speak unguardedly and let slip juicy gossip.”

“Well, as if the woman would expect us to do anything else in the clothes we are left in. The sooner we are dry the sooner we can be away from here, but that is not why I stare at you Holly, and you know it.”

“Oh, I do not know what happened, Lizzy, or why I am so angry, except that he is the most irritating man I have ever met!”

It was clear to her that perhaps Holly had let her embarrassment of their situation and her current feelings toward all gentlemen guide her in her talk with the man. Obviously he was as thick as Mr. Darcy was when it came to having any perception of a woman's feelings or thoughts at any given moment.

“You were just embarrassed, Holly, and he said something that set you off perhaps?”

“To be honest Lizzy, I do not remember what he said. All I remember is that I was feeling upset, ashamed and embarrassed, and instead of being a gentleman and keeping silent on the matter, he laughed and joked and kept bringing it up. I felt foolish enough—why did he feel the need to show his amusement so obviously to my face?

“Well, I spoke sharply, he replied in kind and somehow it escalated from there. Why could he not just keep his mouth shut?” Walking to the lines where their clothing was draped, she reached up to feel the fabric. “Will this dress ever dry so we can leave this place?”

“I would have traded you walking partners any day if I could have.” Lizzy said to help soothe her. “Mr. Darcy practically accused us of acting as sirens trying to lure men. I think he may have been teasing, or maybe not, but in any case it was quite impertinent of him! I admit I did not handle it well at all. I was so embarrassed for laughing like a silly fool after falling in the river and being seen as we were attired, that I was still trying to recover and seem calm and collected. I would have put him in his place if I could have been sure I was not going to further embarrass myself by reading the situation wrongly. There was more, but I do not even want to think on it any further.”

She reached over and checked her dress for dryness.

“Oh, Holly! Will this day never end? It is one mistake after another. And now we will have to speak to them once again. I would just put on my wet things and leave out this kitchen door this moment if I did not think it would make us look even more foolish than we already do.”

Holly thought for a long moment before speaking,

“You know what I have noticed in my years at the school, Lizzy? Many times one of my girls would say something seemingly in jest, but she was just using humour as an excuse to be unkind. Now, I would rate the mental capacity of highborn men at the same stage as a schoolgirl. Do you think they were using humour to mask their true thoughts? Does Lord Brougham really think me clumsy and rude? And does Mr. Darcy think you chased across the countryside in order to lure him to his peril?”

She returned to her gown and turned it over so the other side faced the fire.

“Why did they feel it necessary to invite us to tea, anyway? Ooooh, my stockings are dry!”

Lizzy contemplated for a moment while turning over her own dress and checking her stockings.

“Perhaps they were masking their true thoughts. But if they are such men as you would have them be, then they would be capable of having very few thoughts to begin with. I would think it quite unlikely that they could mask them as well as have them, one in the same instant,” she laughed.

While putting on her stockings she added, “I do not think they would have had the time to do both. Do you?”

Some little time before their things had finished drying, Mrs. McLaughlin came back into the kitchen and said, “A brochten yese a keekin-gless an ah kaim,” and handed Holly a mirror and a comb. “A will busk the tea for yese nou,” she added, and since she then went about preparing tea for four, Lizzy assumed she had said something about fixing it. The whole time they were getting ready the housekeeper would mumble things at them to which Holly would give a polite response. Sometimes laughing at her answers, the woman seemed to warm to them a little and eased up on her use of the Scotch for Lizzy’s benefit.

The girls helped each other with their hair. Their things had dried enough to finally dress by the time they were through. When they were ready to present themselves in public once again, Mrs. McLaughlin said, “A will show you to the parlour.” Holly smiled at Lizzy and both followed the woman out of the kitchen. “I shall tell the men you are in here. Tea will be sert in a wee,” and she left them to themselves.

 

 

As soon as the ladies had left the hallway, Darcy joined his friend in library.

“Brougham, what on earth has possessed you? I have never seen you behave like that, and in a lady’s company. Was it so difficult to stay civil?”

“Yes it was!”

“Can you tell me why?”

Brougham kicked the grate on the fireplace. “No, I cannot. Not at present at any rate.”

He threw himself into a chair - his favourite chair! - and sank down deep while he stubbornly stared in front of himself in silence.

Darcy saw it would not be an easy task, however he hoped Brougham would be more helpful in providing information when his initial anger finally passed. After a few moments he tried again.

“Brougham, whatever has happened I am sure that you were in the right. I have known you long enough not to doubt it, but please, they are still here. We will have to meet them again, and it would be a much easier task if I could understand what exactly has happened.”

Brougham wiped his face with his hands and stayed silent. Finally he sighed and got up.

“You are right. I have behaved like a fool. I lost my temper, but not without serious provocation, I assure you. But there is nothing to talk about. I offended Miss Tournier, and she offended me. In which order it occurred is beside the point. We both said enough things to make the blame equal.”

He raised a hand.

“Now leave it, Darcy. I do not feel like confessions or inquests today. Leave me be.”

Darcy looked at his friend with sympathy. He could only imagine how mixed his friend’s feelings were. He poured him a drink.

“Here Brougham, just a small one to set you at ease.

“Well, well, who would have thought it of such a gentleman as yourself – much more wanted in society than I have ever been, and to think I recall you saying just yesterday that you were fond of impertinent women.”

Darcy smiled slightly, but Brougham did not seem to share his amusement.

“I think it is time to check on the ladies. I can go by myself if you prefer to stay in your shelter.”

Brougham did, indeed, prefer to stay put while Darcy went to enquire after the ladies’ needs and progress with the housekeeper, and his face was still dark and sullen when Mrs. McLaughlin opened the door to the study some time later and announced that tea would be served in the sitting room and that the ladies were expecting them. He sighed and thanked her.

“Well, I suppose tea and humble pie are on the menu, then,” his Lordship said, and held open the door for his friend. Together they moved into the sitting room where the ladies stood waiting for them.

Darcy stepped forward.

“Miss Bennet, Miss Tournier, I hope you have found everything to your convenience. Pray, are you feeling better? We were worried about your health. I would recommend you take a glass of wine along with tea. It should prevent you from catching a chill.”

Lizzy realised how little Holly wanted to speak at the moment and so took the lead.

“Thank you, Mr. Darcy, that would be most welcome. Allow me to serve the tea.”

She stood before the table and began to pour everyone a cup. Sensing the awkwardness coming from Lord Brougham and her cousin, she felt she needed to do or say something more to help ease things a little. She would have to begin with Mr. Darcy she supposed, as he was the only one here besides herself who seemed capable of speech at the moment.

Since there was nothing for it, she took a fortifying sip of the wine he had set before her and began, “Mr. Darcy, I have not had the opportunity to enquire of Mr. Bingley and his family. Have you heard from him since you have arrived here?”

Darcy looked at her, confused, “Why Miss Bennet, I could have asked you a similar question. We parted in London some time ago, and he was heading to Netherfield. Have you not met him there?”

But how could that be? Realising that her mouth was gaping open for the second time today, she quickly said, “Mr. Bingley is at Netherfield? I was not aware of that. He must have arrived after I had left Longbourn. I am sorry to have missed him.”

‘Oh, Jane!’ her inner voice exclaimed. Aloud she managed, “Is he there with a hunting party, and are his sisters with him?”

Darcy gave her a long look before answering, his amusement evident.

“As I am informed Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley have gone to Scarbourgh. Bingley did plan some shooting, though as I know that I was the only one invited, and since I am here, he must be there alone. I do not receive my correspondence at Clyne regularly as it is Brougham’s place of seclusion, and therefore he does not follow the practice of offering the address of this place to others. I do not expect any news then, but of course I would be glad to hear about Mr. Bingley through your correspondence.”

She had never expected to be thinking it, but at this moment she was truly glad he was here and not there with Mr. Bingley! At least there would be some hope that his friend would make his own decision about Jane without his most helpful friend's advice. And Mr. Bingley’s sisters were not with him? Better and better.

Mr. Darcy was a fountain of information today. Did he realise what this news would mean to her?

“I am sure I will be able to relay his continued good health to you if I should hear of it,” she said with all sincerity, but she vowed silently to herself that she would be most careful about what news she shared from that quarter!

“I am sure Mr. Bingley will miss your company. You must have had an invitation from Lord Brougham before you received Mr. Bingley's then. But I remember that you found the community in Hertfordshire was rather confined and unvarying. How do you find it here in the neighbourhood of Clyne Cottage?”

Darcy wondered if Elizabeth realised that Bingley was even now probably only looking for a convenient time to reveal his feelings. From Elizabeth’s reaction he judged that most certainly Bingley’s offer would still be very welcome. He would never dare to ask her directly or to make his own contribution obvious. If nothing else, he would know from the newspapers.

“Actually we were discussing Bingley’s journey to Netherfield some time before I decided on Scotland. However, I was looking for a community much more confined and unvarying than Hertfordshire offers.”

He could have gone to Netherfield with Bingley and perhaps help forestall any further entanglement for his friend with such a family – and opted not to? A most curious choice unless you factor in the fact that he would not wish to be forced to socialise with them himself. Yet he allowed Mr. Bingley to go anyway? He must have felt he has done his job well enough with his friend to trust him there alone – or that Lydia’s actions had ensured things in that quarter for him. And then it struck her. Perhaps it was not her family he avoided by not going to Hertfordshire, but herself due to her sharing the news about her sister that day at the inn in Lambton?

And yet to come here of all places. Curious. Why would you come here, Mr. Darcy?

“Unvarying? I find it quite the opposite. There are many very interesting characters in this neighbourhood. But then perhaps you are not here to study characters, Mr. Darcy, perhaps you are here to study the local flora and fauna instead?”

Darcy wondered to what these questions tended, but the pleasure he received from this conversation was rewarding enough not to object to them.

“Indeed, Miss Bennet, you must remember that I cannot claim myself a skilful studier of characters. Therefore, without lessening the value of this neighbourhood, which I am sure could provide many such interesting examples for a more adept observer, I have decided to spend my time mostly within the borders of Clyne.”

“And may I be so bold as to ask what you find of interest within the borders of Clyne that cannot be found in London?”

“Well, I would say that nothing that is here can be found in London, but what I find most enchanting is that nothing that is in London can be found here.”

His eyes twinkled when he said this, and she could not help but smile at his ingenious reply. The fountain of information that had been Mr. Darcy had dried up when it came to giving news about himself it would seem.

“Yes, I also enjoy things that stay in their proper places. I think London Bridge would be quite out of place here. Even Hyde Park or St. James's Park would be too jarring if they were to suddenly appear on the Great Glen.”

Darcy laughed silently and looked into her smiling eyes, “No, indeed, all of the symbols of London would be very much in our way here.”

He looked at her once again, “Pray, what do you value Scotland for? The society, or rather its nature?”

“Oh both! It is too hard to choose when I have such entertaining people to visit with. While the countryside is quite tempting to a walker such as myself, the society is also quite enchanting.”

Lizzy had forgotten completely about Holly and Lord Brougham when she had heard the news about Mr. Bingley going to Netherfield. She glanced over now and noticed that things did not seem to be going as well as they might. The look on Holly's face seemed one of restraint, most telling to her cousin if not to anyone else. She knew it was time to leave.

“Perhaps it is time for my cousin and myself to call it a day, Mr. Darcy. I confess I am rather tired out by recent events. Perhaps you could arrange for the use of Lord Brougham's carriage for us?”

Darcy was a bit disappointed in her hastily completing the conversation, but after following her eyes to the other couple he realised that it was perhaps the best solution.

“Of course, Miss Bennet,” and he bowed curtly and went in search of Mr. McLaughlin.

Lizzy watched Holly and Lord Brougham from a distance until Mr. Darcy returned. She reached the estranged couple just as he did.

“Miss Tournier and I are ready to leave, Lord Brougham. I am sorry to cut the tea so short, but I find myself most fatigued and think it for the best.”

Mr. Darcy offered his assistance, “Miss Bennet, Miss Tournier, it was a pleasure to meet you again. Please, allow me to escort you to the carriage.”

Brougham bowed his goodbye and Darcy led the ladies outside.

Arriving at their conveyance, Elizabeth turned to him, “I thank you on behalf of my cousin and myself for all that you have done for us. Please thank Lord Brougham for us as well.”

He gave them both his hand to assist them inside, and he ordered the driver to be off. Once it was away, the ladies rode in silence for a while until Lizzy could contain herself no longer.

“I might have said that the last part went well if you did not seem so disgruntled at the end. I will say that Mr. Darcy did not annoy me as he did earlier, and taking the whole day into account, much less than Lord Brougham seemed to annoy you. Shall we invite them for supper do you think, so you two can continue sparring?”

Holly had just closed her eyes and relaxed back into her seat, thoroughly grateful that their ordeal was finally over, when Lizzy began her remarks. The last question brought her bolt upright again.

“Oh dear heavens, you know that is exactly what will happen. We will have to tell Maman everything that happened today, and she will feel an obligation to invite them as thank you for their service—if it can be called that—to us. Of course, they will feel obligated to accept, and we will all have to suffer through another tedious visit.”

She looked questioningly at her cousin,

“I must say though, Lizzy, that you seem to have enjoyed your conversation with Mr. Darcy more than I expected. May I warn you to be careful? I tried to observe his behaviour, when not being annoyed by his friend, and I am concerned that he might toy with you. I would encourage you to guard your heart and behaviour.”

“Oh, Holly, I did enjoy my conversation with Mr. Darcy very much! I shall not be sorry to entertain both gentlemen one more time at my Aunt's insistence. My heart is so full of charity at the moment.”

Lizzy paused, waiting for the look of pity and shock on Holly's face that she was expecting to see. When she had it from her, she continued, laughing, “I was happy, but not for the reasons you suspect, so remove that silly look from your face immediately. It is most unbecoming and will give you wrinkles! Holly, I enjoyed that conversation for the happy information I have received about Mr. Bingley returning to Netherfield without bringing his sisters’ or his friend’s influence with him.”

At Holly's look of surprise, she continued, “Yes! I was so pleased at the knowledge of the possibilities for Jane, as you will now understand having had my story concerning his last visit, that I could find no fault with anything the poor man said after learning that! Do not worry, dear cousin, there is no need for a warning to me. I will not fall victim to his charms. Besides, the conversation was a short one. It seems a disturbance in another part of the room put an early end to it.” Lizzy gave her cousin a sly glance from her side of the carriage seat.

Holly laughed at this and they talked the rest of the way home about what Lizzy had learned from Mr. Darcy.

Once they had arrived at Rosefarm Cottage and were greeted by Mrs. Tournier, it was only a matter of moments before Holly had herself all worked up again as she relayed the story of their morning to her mother. Holly spared no details. She berated both men for laughing, talked of Mr. Darcy's sirens comment, all of Lord Brougham's remarks to her, and of her own perception of those men's intentions and characters. She went on for some time, her temper and indignation almost rising to the level that they had been at during the actual events. She flailed her arms about, gestured wildly to underline her points, and paced back and forth as she talked.

When she was through with her tale, Mrs. Tournier, true to Holly's prediction, insisted upon having the gentlemen to dinner to thank them for their assistance. Nothing Holly could say would change her mind; try as the poor girl might.

 

 

Darcy watched the carriage roll away from Clyne, and went in to join Brougham in the study. He found him seated behind his desk, ostensibly wading through some papers, and so he sat himself down in a chair near it. Knowing full well that Brougham could not keep this front of unaffectedness up for long, he was aware he only had to wait in silence before his friend would reveal himself. And indeed, not more than five minutes passed before Brougham put down his papers and impatiently started tapping the desk with his quill.

“I shall have to speak to my tailor, Darcy. I must bespeak new coats if we are to visit Rosefarm again, for surely it must be the cut and style of the coat that offends so much as to lead Miss Tournier to the desperation and rudeness she displays with me. After all, the fact that I lent her my coat, and thus placed it even closer to her person, must be the reason for a most singular behaviour and compulsion to misinterpret and take offence with everything I said. I can find no other reason. Your tailor seems to do an adequate job of it. You must recommend him to me, for this is most ridiculous, and I can find no other plausible cause.”

Darcy could not decide if he was more confused or amused by his friend’s demand.

“I will be happy to recommend my tailor to you, but are you certain it will solve the matter? Maybe there is more to your disagreement. Surely a sensible lady like Miss Tournier must be, could not have been offended simply by the cut of your coat. What were you two talking about?”

“Solve the matter? Sensible lady? Darcy, stupidity does not suit you. And sarcasm apparently does not suit me. But to be perfectly serious, I have no idea how a woman from such a good family can twist everything I say into an insult of her person and counter it with accusations of idiocy and arrogance. So I can only blame my coat, for there is no other sensible answer to her obvious dislike and attitude. We talked about furnishings, the grounds, village children, and fishing, and I was a villain and a usurper of all. And I suppose I must content myself with that role, for she seems the most stubborn and prejudiced woman I have ever met.”

“Brougham, I do not claim that she could not have misjudged you. All I say is that it must have been some kind of misunderstanding. Maybe I am biased here, but Miss Bennet once taught me a lesson. She is, they both are, coming from very different places than we are. Telling the truth, they are nothing like the ladies we have met among our society. Their minds take different routes. Now, how many working women you have met before, except those who were employees to you or your acquaintances?”

Brougham was pursing his lips and displaying a most petulant air. “If I take the term ‘working woman’ in its broadest sense – quite a few actually. But if you mean respectable working women you know as well as I do that they are few and far between among my acquaintance. And I really do not think being scolded and lectured to by a woman who works for a living in a respectable profession is something to strive for and celebrate as an achievement in itself as being such a rarity! Believe me when I tell you I have been accosted and abused by women who have far more reason to be unhappy with their lot in life and quite rightly blame our class for their misfortunes!

“Oh, what is the use? She dislikes me and that is that. Perfectly understandable sentiment – I sometimes intensely dislike myself, as well – but she simply cannot be prevailed upon to conceal that sentiment, and so I shall have to learn to live with it and avoid her and, if I am forced into it, completely disregard everything she says to me.”

“I did not mean that it gives her any rights to rudeness. But it is obvious that she was irritated with you. Now, we both know that there are two Broughams. One is my friend while the other is the favourite addition to every gathering of society. You fool and charm everyone by covering irony with your wit. Ladies always seem to be amused with you, but maybe not this one. Maybe this one does not have a heart for your ramblings. Maybe she simply has wisdom but not wit. Of course it still does not excuse her behaviour, but maybe you have just hit her blind spot. Well, at least it seems she has hit yours.”

Darcy smiled seeing the growing irritation of his friend, “Brougham, tell me the truth. Is she not a challenge?”

“I do not enjoy females as challenges. I rather thought that was your speciality,” he tartly replied.

Then he caught the twinkle in Darcy's eye, and his lips started to twitch.

“Oh all right then!” he laughed. “She is a challenge! But I was being truthful. I have no interest in that kind of sport. It is idle and nonsense and a bored, rich, immoral man's game, not mine! Especially here at Clyne. But, if you would put a wager on it, or even put your own effort into the race, I dare say I could be persuaded...”

Darcy looked at his friend and smiled openly.

“Wager? That is an evil idea, indeed. But, considering the good outcome that might be the effect of the race, I would enter into one. Tell me then, what prize would be tempting for you? And what would be the goal itself? Do you think you might gain her respect, let us say, within a week?”

“A week! Either you are bent on beating me in every game we attempt henceforth, or you grossly overestimate my appeal to the fairer sex!

“You tempt me, truly you do, but I like the odds to be a bit better in my favour if I attempt it. Or even the prize. I am afraid, though gambling is the scourge of our age and class, I am not that affected. Any inclinations for hopeless bets I have are quickly satisfied at White's. Which is where this absurd wager surely should be entered!”

“What do you propose then?”

“I propose a thank you!” Brougham laughed. “First of all, I have learned – from one of the best examples of the opposite practice there ever was – never to make a wager when in a temper. Gambling does not suit my family, you know. Second of all, I think the other Brougham probably would take you up on it when in town, but here I will not get into a game like that.

“So, thank you, but no wager. Instead a sincere thank you for making my mind turn to more pleasant thoughts. I will admit your analysis of Miss Tournier is very reasonable, and I will contemplate those ‘other routes’ whenever she tries to crawl under my skin again. I will let you know if I get any clues as to their geography.”

Darcy smiled genuinely at the course his friend’s musings took, that first made him propose a bet only to later persuade himself to the contrary. However, Darcy’s goal had been accomplished.

“Why Brougham, it is the first time I have achieved so much with such little cost. I must admit that I never doubted your chances to win the eventual conquest, and knowing you it would cost me dearly. Does it mean that you are willing to continue the acquaintance?”

Lord Brougham laughed and got out of his chair, readily abandoning his papers, and opened the door to the library.

“Certainly, and on sound mathematical grounds. There are two good reasons against one uncertain one, and I would call that a more than advantageous percentage of pleasure.”

Together they moved into the other room. Brougham smilingly took out the Armagnac bottle from its hiding place and poured them drinks.

“Besides, I will not wallow in self-pity over being misunderstood and unloved for long. Never fear. No, all I have to do is look around me to see that my lot is a very good one, and the only fly in my ointment is not worth losing my temper over. So come! A game we must have in any case! What do you say to a round of chess to work up an appetite?”

“The round of chess combined with your Armagnac will work up much more than just an appetite, I am sure. Though my good humour and appetite are at their best already. I should only wish for yours to match mine.”

Events of the day provided, the gentlemen spent the remainder of it on activities of leisure.

 

 

The following morning, joining his friend for breakfast, Lord Brougham came out of his study holding several sheets of paper in his hand.

“Darcy!” he said. “Correspondence!”

He sat down at the table and spread out the letters in front of him while he poured himself some coffee.

“Riemann just picked up these from Mr. Robertson at the Thistle. Bad and good news, I am afraid!”

His Lordship looked remarkably carefree and happy for one carrying such a mixed bag of messages.

“I have heard from my steward. I must go down to Cumbria for a few days. Nothing serious but nevertheless important. I shall be gone for two nights if I leave soon. But…” and Brougham waved a sheet of paper in the air, “you will not be idle! I have a social engagement here at Rosefarm Cottage you must attend and be at your diplomatic best.”

He tossed the letter to Darcy across the table.

 

Lord Brougham,

I trust this missive finds you somewhat restored after the visit of my daughter and niece. I gather from the intricate account I received of the event that there was a slightly more dramatic twist than what is normally the case when taking tea at respectable houses. However that may be, I sincerely wish to thank you once again for your generosity and willingness to come to the aid of foolish Tournier women.

Consequently, I most imperatively wish through this letter to cordially invite you to dine with us tomorrow. I have also invited a few other friends to make certain my daughter has plenty of other objects for her spite and sport than yourself and Mr. Darcy.

It would please me greatly if you could honour us with your and Mr. Darcy’s presence, and thus allow me to even out the scales of obligation in our acquaintance somewhat.

Yours faithfully,

A. Tournier.
Rosefarm Cottage

 

 

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